Ask Self Serve – How to Have Knee-Supportive Sex

Q. I’ve had both knees replaced. How do I have sex and get on top without hurting my knees? flip-ramp

A. First off, we hope your new knees are awesome despite some sex setbacks. If sex on top is your favorite, there are a few things you can try, but run these ideas by your doctor to make sure they’re ok with your new knees.

If you’re the one being penetrated, you can get creative with a piece of sex furniture. Sex furniture is made with special foam that gives better support to your body than a traditional pillow. Sex furniture comes in all different shapes and sizes, so you can get the support you need to relax into sex, instead of spending energy holding yourself up! Here are some ideas to try: Place a piece of sex furniture under your knees –  what does it feel like? What if you place a pillow just under your shin bone close to the knee? What happens if you’re on top, but with your legs extended straight in front of you on either side of your partner? You could consider some ties from the ceiling that allow you to use your arms to pull you up and down. In addition, try having your partner lay on a very narrow piece of furniture, like a bench with a pillow on it, so you can have your feet on the floor while you’re on top.

If you’re the penetrator, try standing up with your partner bent forward or laying back on the bed. Or try it with your partner on top of you. You could also do it on your side either facing each other or facing away from each other.

At Self Serve, we have books and films about different sex positions as well as a great book called The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability, which has information about accommodating for restricted movement. Many times a change in our bodies is the precursor for finding some excellent new sex positions.