Self Serve’s Alternative Albuquerque Valentines Guide

Whether you love it or hate it – Self Serve wants you to have the most fulfilling Valentines, even if that means not celebrating it!




It’s our annual tradition to put together a guide for the month of February that finds cool events to celebrate love, self love, sex and masturbation.


Our alternative Valentines Guide includes several events to pique your interest – whether you go to the museum and learn about the mating habits of animals, get some friends together for a burlesque show or take yourself on a date and show yourself a good time. We’ve got an event or idea for everyone, so scroll down to see how Albuquerque celebrates love.


Creative Ways to Celebrate (or not celebrate) Valentines Day



Know your partner’s romance style

If you plan on celebrating Valentine’s day in a big way , it’s important to think about how we all experience love and romance. Sex and relationship educator Reid Mihalko talks in terms of cats and dogs.

“If you are oriented to romance like a cat, you find romantic anything that proves that the person was thinking about you before you walked into the room. You get all warm and fuzzy over what I’m going to call forethought. Someone bringing you home flowers, making dinner reservations, sending a card are all good examples.


For people oriented around romance like dogs (and I’m a dog by the way), anything that tells us that we’re a good dog is romantic. Telling your partner that they did something wonderful, you’re proud of them, or they made a good decision, makes them feel loved and opens them up.”

Click here for an in-depth guide on how to romance your partner on any occasion. These techniques can also be used in friendship and non-sexual or romantic relationships.


Take a sexual inventory and set goals for yourself and your relationship/s

This is a great time to break out your Yes-No-Maybe list and see what you have done, what you want to do, and what you don’t want to do, in the bedroom. Your goals can be something along the lines of finding a good erotica book or porn movie that really gets you going. You could take a class about a topic you have no intention of practicing, just to see what else is out there.

Taking a sexual inventory is good to do when you are flying solo or with partners. If you’re single, try setting some masturbation goals, such as try new hand sex techniques on yourself.


Boycott the commercial aspect of Valentines day by staying in or ordering takeout.

We’re all aware of the intense consumerist aspect of Valentines day. At Self Serve we think it’s healthy to get away from that side of the holiday and instead, do things that will genuinely strengthen your love for yourself and others. One idea is to stay in on Valentines day, no dinner date, no roses, teddy bears or chocolate, no jewelry. Just enjoy being with yourself or with your partner/s. Stay in bed, watch silly movies, read a book, laugh, masturbate, have sex and maybe eat a buffet off your partner’s body.


Albuquerque Valentines Events


For the Hot Date with a Partner, Friends or Yourself!



Take a Sex Ed Class at Self Serve

Self Serve has been working hard to bring you some of the best sex ed classes in the Southwest! So far, 2014 has been our best year ever for classes! We have several classes each week on topics ranging from Yoga for Hot Sex to Herbal Aphrodisiacs to BDSM to Tantra. We have a few classes each week except for in December.

Where: Self Serve, 3904b Central Ave. SE


Valentine’s Day Dirty Zine Reading at the Tannex

Celebrate Valentine’s Day in style, with some hot and heavy stories and craft time. Come by the Tannex, Friday, February 14th at 7pm for naughty crafts, zines, music and, DAMN!

When: Friday February 14th at 7pm
Where: 1417 4th St SW


Mangos with Chili Presents Whipped at Warehouse 21

Mangos With Chili is the floating cabaret of QTPOC (queer, trans* people of color). The night of debauchery promises to be sexy, smart, provocative, comical and touching, WHIPPED is sure to explore the many faceted aspects of desire, from the dark to the jubilant. Valentines exchange to follow shows, so get them lovenotes and that courage ready!

When: Saturday Feb. 8th at 7pm
Where:  Warehouse 21, 1614 Paseo De Peralta, Santa Fe, NM 87501


A Sordid Affair, A Night of Blues and Babes! at Low Spirits

A night you won’t forget presented by La Loca Magazine, which will feature The Squash Blossom Boys, Snake Oil Spill and Lightning Hall. Also, get your picture taken in the Naughty Cupid Spanking Booth! La Loca is a brand-spankin’ new vintage lifestyle and alternative arts magazine out of Albuquerque, NM. Our content is uniquely New Mexican with Spanish, Native and Hillbilly influences all rolled up into one kick ass enchilada of hot rods, tattoos, bass slappin’ music, burlesque, pinup gals, retro centerfolds and more.

When: Friday February 14th at 8:30pm
Where: 2823 2nd Street NW


 Queer Love Stories at UNM

The UNM LGBTQ resource center proudly invites you to QUEER LOVE STORIES. Join us for a celebration of our own LOVE stories. Come and share your love story or stories with us in a safe and welcoming environment. FOOD and DRINKS will be provided by The LGBTQ RC.

When: Tuesday February 11th at 12:30pm
Where: The Reading Room in Ortega Hall on UNM’s campus


For the Foodies


Valentine Tea at St. James Tea Room enjoy a three course afternoon tea on Valentine’s day, with roses, truffles, and delicious tea, also known as a hug in a cup.
When: February 14 and 15, seatings at 11 a.m., 1:30 p.m., 4 p.m. and 6:30 p.m.
Where: 320 Osuna NE


Aphrodisiac Valentine Dinner at Jennifer James 101 Each year’s Valentine dinner is laden with aphrodisiacs. This year’s menu includes spicy tomato soup with queso fresco, lamb hearts, flash-fried oysters, grilled beef fillet, and chocolate mousse. Call (505) 884-3860 to reserve a private table.

When: Tuesday, February 11 – Saturday, February 15 starting at 5 pm.

Where: 4615 Menaul Blvd NE


Malbec Wine Tasting at Slate Street Cafe The Slate Street Cafe will host a Malbec wine tasting in its Wine Loft, featuring three plentiful pours of wine with an appetizer just for the occasion.
When: February 4, 5 p.m. – 7:30 p.m.
Where: 515 Slate NW
Cost: $20 per person, tax and gratuity not included.



For the Adventurers


Velo-tine Bike Tours at Routes at Rentals and Tours- Take a professionally-guided tour along the Paseo del Bosque river trail with Routes, Rentals and Tours. The tour includes a bike, a wine tasting at Casa Rodena, NM Tea Company for tea, a Los Poblanos Historic Inn and organic farm tour, and a tasting at Joliesse Chocolates. The ride takes 3.5 hours.
When: Saturdays in February plus Valentine’s day
Where: Start at 1102 Mountain Road NW


Friends and Lovers Hot Air Balloon Rally- Albuquerque and hot air balloons are quite fond of each other.  This particular launch features up to 100 hot air balloons rising into the sky on Friday and Saturday February 8 and 9. The rise is free to watch and attend.
When: February 8 and 9, 7 a.m. launch
Where: Balloon Park, 5000 Balloon Parkway NE


Adults Only Valentine’s Day Tours
Are you curious about how the birds and bees get down? You can take three different tours that will keep you in the know about the often strange mating rituals of various species. Choose from three tours: “Birds and the Beasts” at the Zoo at 10 a.m., “Love Bugs” at the Botanic Garden at 3:30 p.m. and “That’s a Moray!” at the Aquarium at 2 p.m.. Ages 18 and up only.
When: February 8
Where: Rio Grande Zoo, Botanic Gardens and Albuquerque Aquarium


For Your Staycation


Valentines and Romance Package at Heritage Hotels and Resorts

Book this romance package for your special Valentine’s Day getaway or any time you want a romantic escape. The Sensuous Romance packages vary but the offerings include romantic things like wine, chocolate-covered strawberries, late check out, free WiFI, free parking, hot tub access and more. The romance packages also include an exclusive custom Sensuous Love Kit containing toys, trinkets, and games and an exclusive coupon from Self Serve.