The Anxious Person’s Guide to Non-Monogamy by Lola Phoenix is a compassionate roadmap for anyone curious about or already practicing polyamory and open relationships. With a focus on mental health and self-compassion, this book explores the emotional side of consensual non-monogamy, helping you work through fears, manage jealousy, and build confidence as you navigate new relationship structures. Lola Phoenix draws from years of personal experience and advice-giving to help readers find their “anchor,” understand their motivations, and create boundaries that feel good for everyone involved. You’ll also find practical tools for scheduling time, balancing independence with connection, and handling judgment from others. Each chapter includes activities for self-reflection, making this not just a book to read, but one to work through as you grow.

Why You Might Love This Book

• Offers practical, mental health-focused guidance for opening relationships

• Includes exercises and activities for deeper self-reflection

• Helps readers manage jealousy, fear, and anxiety with compassion

• Covers both emotional and logistical aspects of polyamory

• Written by an experienced advice-giver who has lived non-monogamy

Why You Might Skip This Book

• Not a how-to on finding partners — it focuses on emotional work and boundaries

• Might feel too introspective if you just want quick tips

• Geared toward readers who experience anxiety — may feel less relevant if you don’t

• Primarily focuses on non-monogamy and polyamory — not as useful for monogamous relationship advice

About the Author