Want to feel more confident giving oral sex to a partner with a vulva? She Comes First by Ian Kerner is a widely praised, pleasure-positive guide that reframes oral sex as coreplay, not just foreplay. Written by a clinical sexologist, this book dives into anatomy, response cycles, and technique with clarity and care. Whether you're a curious beginner or a long-time lover looking to improve your skills, Kerner’s practical advice supports mutual enjoyment and deeper intimacy. The book is easy to read, respectful in tone, and focused on helping readers create more equitable, connected experiences. It's not just about technique. It's about understanding pleasure as collaborative and ongoing. At Self Serve, we appreciate that She Comes First centers communication, enthusiastic consent, and the real-world diversity of bodies and experiences.

Why you might like this book:

• Focuses on partner pleasure, mutual respect, and clear communication

• Great for people of any gender who love or want to learn about vulvas

• Encourages consent and attentiveness as essential to great sex

• Offers specific, step-by-step techniques with accessible language

• Empowers readers with anatomy education and confidence

Why you might not like this book:

• Written from a cisgender, heterosexual lens, which may not fully reflect queer or trans experiences

• Focus is heavily on oral sex, so it may not cover other aspects of sexual intimacy you’re looking for

• Some may prefer a guide with more gender-neutral or inclusive language

This book is a great companion to our inclusive sex education titles and a smart addition to any pleasure-seeker’s library.