In The State of Affairs, renowned psychotherapist Esther Perel offers a bold and thought-provoking exploration of infidelity, challenging conventional views on love, desire, and commitment. Through examining affairs from multiple perspectives, she reveals how they can expose the truths we often avoid about our relationships—what we expect, what we believe we deserve, and how we navigate the tension between security and passion. With empathy, intelligence, and humor, Perel presents infidelity not only as a betrayal, but also as an opportunity to understand the complex nature of human connection. This book invites readers into an honest dialogue about love’s messiness, the cultural forces shaping modern marriage, and the deeply personal choices couples face. Whether you are grappling with betrayal, curious about desire’s role in long-term relationships, or seeking to deepen your understanding of intimacy, The State of Affairs offers insight that is both challenging and compassionate.

You might like this book if:

• You want a nuanced, nonjudgmental perspective on infidelity and relationships

• You are interested in exploring the complexities of love, lust, and commitment

• You value insights from a respected therapist and relationship expert

• You are navigating personal or professional conversations about betrayal and intimacy

You might not like this book if:

• You are seeking a simple, prescriptive “how-to” guide for fixing relationships

• You want a purely clinical text without personal stories or cultural context

• You prefer books that avoid discussions of infidelity or sexual desire