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Comments on “Sales & Special Events”
I would also like to share if anyone has any questions for the transgender support group here in Burque to please let us know! I would be happy to help you get in touch with them!
I have to say that many married people I know don't want to be married anymore, yet they stay married because they don't want to "have to go back out there". Where that is, I don't know, which means I'm probably there. I agree that if any consenting adults want to get married then they should be able to and do it with flair. Honestly, there are so many people already on their fourth or fifth marriage, that I'm sure a nation of LGBT couples getting married couldn't muck it up anymore than straight people already have. Seriously, who does more to attack the family values of America, the people who really want to be married or the people who just treat it as a temporary retreat that they can cast off at the smallest inconveniences and differences. I put my money on the gays.
Oh I hear you! As a sex shop owner I have experienced ALL the things that you have as far as funding, renting, merchant services and such. And Seriously, how does drugstore.com get away with using google carts when you can't? Fuckers.
I totally agree with education, trying new things and most of all honest communication with your partner. If you don't have that last, you don't have much of anything and your sex life will suffer no matter how adventurous you are.However, science does show that at least part of sexual arousal IS in the brain, for both sexes. I love to point friends towards Helen Fisher when this topic comes up. So I DO think drugs have the potential to help provided all other issues – relationship, whatever societal, body image – have been taken care of.It is obvious, by looking at the trials, that this particular drug is NOT going to be the cure-all for women. But I hope that if and when one is developed that will help, Self Serve supports it. Thanks! 🙂
Betsy- I agree totally! The brain is part of the equation. I hope research does help us learn more about female desire. Perhaps someday we'll know more about how to increase sexual desire through medical intervention, I just know we're not there yet.Flibanserin was rejected unanimously today by the FDA. They cited too many side effects and not enough positive results…http://abcnews.go.com/Business/wireStory?id=10955299Let's keep the conversation going and keep trying holistic methods to increase desire 🙂
by Rachel
What worries me the most about drugs like Flibanserin and it's 2004 counterpart Intrinsa is the whole phenomenon of the slippery slope. If one of these drugs/patches/sprays whatever was to pass FDA approval and be accessible to women through their respective doctors, my concern would be that many women would turn to this medical alternative to fixing their between-the-sheets-conundrum before considering other factors which would affect their libido. I know countless people who pop a Tylenol whenever their head hurts, but how productive is that kind of solution, really?I do think it's great that there is talk about female sexual desire, but I can't help but being a bit of a Negative Nancy. It's like that line from Field of Dreams: If you build it, they will come. if this drug is passed, women will buy it, and how will that affect our perception of what a 'normal' sexuality is?
Updated Advice! Carry on lube and liquids under 3.4 oz in a quart sized bag. Lubricant is considered a medical accessory, so you can declare larger amounts, too!
I suggest before a woman heads off for surgery I suggest she perform what I call the "Vagina Salute” at least once. The Vagina Salute is a little act that I like to perform to remind myself of the Glory and undeniable Beauty of my Vagina. To perform the Vagina Salute you need a man, 2 pillows and I like to incorporate high heels. (The heels make me feel a bit sassy and help get your nerve up the first time around.) I like to take a shower, rub myself all over with my favorite lotions, and make myself my most beautiful. I then proceed to my bed and position myself in the center with 2 pillows under my hips and spread my legs as far as they will go. I then proceed to call in my husband and tell him I just want him to look at my Vagina…BUT NOT TOUCH. After a few minutes of begging I let him touch anything but my Vagina…After a few more minutes of intense begging and drooling I let him touch only the outside of my Vagina. When it is apparent that he can not endure another moment-only then do I allow him access to the "Inner Sanctum"! If any woman doubts the mesmerizing power and beauty of her Vagina…try the Vagina Salute. It embodies the word "empowerment" and is much less expensive (and WAY more fun) in every regard than surgery.
Thanks, Bad Mimi! Great idea. This surely could work with a woman, of course. Or by oneself, with a mirror. Good self pleasure should have anticipation and build up, too!:)
all right. i admit, my incredible experiences of sexual liberation and personal empowerment over the past week, and my inspiration to join this blog (because i'm so inspired with gratitude,) are because of this amazing device: the jimmy jane form II. just thinking about it makes me want to go play. what an incredible power, to have as many lightening bolt bliss explosion orgasms as i want? this miraculous, smart little sweetling has been keeping me up way too late… but, i'm very, very grateful.
Thanks for posting this video, women. I had no idea that these surgeries were getting so common. Kudos for getting the word out and encouraging people to not get pieces of their bodies cut off. The education–showing different kinds of vulvas–is invaluable. I, too, had no idea that my vulva was normal, I always thought it was too big. Now I know that that's just in comparison to the porn star look. Keep up the good work!
I totally appreciate the idea of letting go and living a fantasy. That can the perfect release for someone even if they are in a monogamous relationship. Use role playing to be whomever you want to be. Act out, talk dirty, and it will surely turn on your partner. Facing scary fantasies- of dominance or submission for example- can be scary in a positive way if enacted in a safe, comfy context.
Why did none of the vulvas shown have a natural amount of pubic hair?It seems ironic that a video encouraging women to love their vulvas the way they are, still promoted the idea that there is something natural about hairless or partially shaved adult vulva.
Hooray for negotiation & communication! Books like Wiseman's "SM 101," Dr. Sprinkle's "Spectacular Sex" & "Fantasex" by Rolf Milonas all have wonderful tools, games, guides and even charts to support and guide you in communicating desires w/ a partner and sometimes even just helping you admit them to yourself. I love the term "negotiation fetishist." Now that's a fetish that no one could object to!–Alisia
Molly will be on KRQE Channel 13 4 o'clock news talking about Pornotopia being censored! Watch if you can and check our blog tonight for news updates! There's also an interview planned for KOAT 7
Can't you get the ACLU involved? This appears to be a clear infringement of the first amendment and freedom to assemble. Maybe you could recast pornotopia as a protest of the government regulations? If the city loses, that may break open the anti-first amendment zoning laws in their entirety.
When I was trying to organize on behalf of the sex workers, ACLU would not get involved on the grounds that we "brought our troubles on ourselves." I had contact with the national organizations, funding from some concerned local citizens, amused tolerance from the local cops and legal system — mostly because organizing working women is a lot like trying to scramble hard boiled eggs.
November 4, 2010Mayor Richard J. BerryP.O. Box 1293Albuquerque NM 87103Dear Mayor Berry:I read with dismay the news that “Pornotopia CENSORED” has been canceled. I trust the organizers, Molly and Matie of Self Serve, and I can’t dismiss their accusation. Did your Planning and Zoning officials use intimidation to stop the festival?Over the last year, Your Honor, I have been quite pleased with your administration. But I can’t stay happy with any Republican who doesn’t defend the freedom we love in the Wild West. As long as the kids are kept away, can’t we have some dancing girls on stage?As a former sex worker and current criminal defense attorney, I think I know prostitution and exploitation when I see them. Respectfully, your officials would have to be pretty naïve to confuse this event for a threat. Pornotopia shows don’t even pose the same danger as ads available in the back of newspapers all over town. I am aware that I haven’t heard your side of the story yet. Did you want to crush this festival, or has it just run afoul of a few officials acting on their own? Did those officials deliberately intimidate Molly and Matie because they knew they didn’t have a leg to stand on in court? Your State of the City Address today promised to save us money by keeping government small—small enough to stay out of the way of Albuquerque’s people when they are making the city great. Please, if you do nothing else, get back to me (and Molly and Matie) and make your position transparent. Even if you disagree with me, assure us that your administration will fight its battles in the open, not by scaring business owners out of exercising their rights. This may seem like a small issue for our big city, but it’s a chance to do the right thing. If you are fighting the public health battle against sexually transmitted infections, I have good news for you: Molly and Matie are on your side. If you are taking a feminist stance against the exploitation of women and children, I’ve got good news for you: Molly and Matie are on your side. And if you want property values here to look more like San Francisco than Branson, I have good news for you: Molly and Matie and their hundreds of friends are more likely to stay if you just take their side on this one.I wish you a safe trip this week and hope you will take a moment to personally encourage Molly and Matie to throw a safe and joyful Pornotopia show.Yours,Mary Griego
I will be sending a letter. Also, have you ladies contacted the local ACLU? This sounds right up their ally. If nothing else, they might have advice about how to proceed in the future. I know they have been invaluable to some other organizations.
Can't believe I forgot this! They offered up nearly the same intimidation techniques for the first Alibi/Crushed Velvet Rope Fetish Ball at the Launchpad.We didn't say a word and we let them show up. Rumors flew about the plain-clothes cops in the crowd. We knew we were following all the rules to the letter.No tickets were issued. Doesn't mean it wouldn't happen this time; I've been gone for so long I don't know what the climate is there anymore. I also had an attorney on retainer for all the performers and a valid business license to operate the troupe, which helped.Suffice to say I hope you all fight the good fight on this one – ABQ needs to be dragged, kicking and screaming, into the 21st century, just about every 10 years. Sorry that you're due now, just before such a sex-positive, free-speech event as the one you had planned.
*sigh* This is all such a load. You know? It's not only a disservice to the community as a whole, but it's detrimental to individuals. The message they're sending me is that by being sex-positive and expressing that openly (with other grown ups who are like-minded) I'm actually a dirty freak, not a productive member of society. I'll tell you what Abq, I pay my taxes. I work hard. I want to play hard, but I want to do it my own way. Deal with it, and stop putting roadblocks in my way. Grr. This makes me sick and angry :o{
Thanks for all the comments, and Mary- your letter is fabulous.We are talking to the Mayor's office tomorrow, and hope to make progress on figuring out how to finally host events, legally, without fear of repercussions. I am still hopeful!I figure we shall go straight to the Mayor and try to learn what's going on.
This breaks my heart. Hookers all over Central Ave, strip clubs, sexist adverts, HIV AIDS, STDs, pregger teens….. healthy sexuality would cure ALL of this sickness. And it would empower people in such subversive ways, it would destroy the capitalist system, conventional religion and the military industrial complex! Bless you for your conviction and heart. Albuquerque hasn't heard the last of us yet.
@Meganfein – it's all that damn tea the tea party is making the people drink.it's like that special kool aid… you know, the kind the special clubs give you. with the matching sneakers.
I've been to two of the Burlesque/Circus show in the past and loved them! I was very much looking forward to tonights performance only to check my e-mail and find it's been cancelled for no good reason! Last night I happened to be at Kosmos and when I walked in they were having "pants down" musical chairs with males and females participating – all participants had panties or boxers on and it was hysterical. Is the city going to try to stop this kind of harmless fun everywhere or just when it involves anything with the name "Pornotopia"??? You bet I'll be sending Dick Berry a letter!
I also have a small business and I have also experienced similar abuse of power. Too much focus seems to be placed on the censorship aspect . The greater problem is simply that Government is too big and far too intrusive. If the City had less power their ability to abuse power would also be lessened. The problem is big government and its abuse of power. It is ironic that at the same time so many Americans think we are fighting for freedom in foreign lands while our freedoms here at home are being lost.
How do "Adult entertainment" video/magazine stores do it? Its been a good number of years since i turned 18 and shopped much at any of those, but popular legend says they have movie viewing booths and theaters. Admittedly their porn is not the same as pornatopia content, But what laws do they use to stay open?
More ideas from our friend at NMAS: 1. Donate $ if you can. AIDS organizations are really hurting. 2. Get tested, and/or get a friend to get tested. Support your friend and get tested with them! NMAS is testing from 12-5pm today. 3. Talk to your friends and family about HIV/AIDS to fight stigma. 4. Events around New Mexico:Albuquerque:Free, anonymous, oral swab HIV testing 12-5pm and come see a local piece of the AIDS Quilt at NMAS today, Call 938-7100 for more info.Information, education, awareness, and a candle light remembrance at First Nations Community Healthsource, For more info call Mattee Jim, 505.262.6554 Las Cruces: World AIDS Day will be observed in Las Cruces on December 1, 2010 at First Christian Church – DOC, 1809 El Paseo Road beginning at 7:00 pm and everyone is welcome to attend. Donations of canned food will be gladly accepted for the food pantry for clients, For more info Janet Lindsey, FYI642-6596Santa Fe: THE TRANSFORMING POWER OF STORY: WORLD AIDS DAY WORSHIP SERVICE, WEDNESDAY DECEMBER 1ST, 2010 6:00PM FIRST PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH SANTA FE (208 Grant Avenue, Santa Fe). This ecumenical World AIDS Worship Service is a unique opportunity for faith and community leaders to gather together and experience the transforming power of story as told by those infected and affected by HIV/AIDS. Rev. Andrew Black, AIDS advocate and Sen. Bingaman’s Health Care Field Representative, will deliver the sermon entitled “Seeing the Face of God in those with HIV/AIDS.” All our welcome.Gallup: Navajo AIDS Network-Gallup, NM office is offering FREE HIV Testing. For more info call 505 863 9929.
Great suggestions. Might I suggest for stripping music Rebecca Romijn Stamos' cover of Prince's 'Darling Nikki'. HOT!!! It's on an album called 'An Electro Goth Tribute To Prince'. Highly recommended.
Thank you. I was at a loss to explain how PDA was different than dragging a submissive into a coffee shop on a leash. I'm so glad you post this. And that I read it. 🙂
(wipes a tear), you are so loved sweetie. You are; an in your face fighter, devoutly loyal to women of size and an all around lovely lady wrapped in wonderfully colorful layers. You go girl! And hats off to Keli too, great therapy choice!
This is an FDA-approved device with attendant liability and regulatory expense. I have some experience with an older version of this device and it worked moderately well and was built like a tank. – Spinal Guy
Once again! You always amaze me with your insights and opinions! I feel truly honored to have the opportunity to read your blogs and hear your thoughts! You always make valid points and bring out thoughts that others may overlook or take for granted! This is such an important topic, and is one that EVERYONE should know and understand on so mant levels! Thank you again for being so awesome and allow your voice to be heard!!!!
Thank you for that insightful exploration of the complexities of the intersections of fat-positive, anti-racist, body-acceptance spaces/communities. It's important to articulate how stereotypes and generalizations affect people negatively. Being aware of those affects is the first step in addressing the deeper (and infinitely more complex) issues of racism, sex-negativity, homophobia.I thought the term "____ is the new black" was a term referring to black as a color in fashion that goes with anything–the hip universal. Now, I can see how it was used in reference to civil rights struggle of African Americans. Tactics and strategies of the black power movement have been used by other movements (gay rights, women, etc.), but I find it problematic to compare oppression/struggle/politics of each movement to each other as apples to apples. Racism, ageism, sexism, homophobia, classism, etc are so integrated and overlapping that they cannot be seen as separate. They are, in fact, in extricable reinforcing discrepancies in power and privilege.
Hi Alexantor! Thank you for your comments! While I agree that the various aspects of oppression such as gay rights, homophobia, women's rights' etc. all have to deal with power and privilege, it is a great disservice to people of color and of working class status to lump us all together under "one Happy umbrella". One of the problems with first wave feminism movement was the fact that the grievances of women who were working class, below the poverty line, of color and differently abled were ignored in favor of upper class women's issues with the reasoning that "everything overlaps". The same issue still affects the glbtqi community where racism and classism are so rampant that a majority of men of color now refer to themselves as "same gender loving" in protest of the fact that their needs are ignored and/or treated with a patronizing attitude. For most of us who are poor,fat, of color, and queer, having someone tell us that all of the problems we're facing are all the same is tantamount to someone telling us to "stay in our place" and not talk about our problems. It takes away our voice. Talking about the realities and complexities of racism and oppresion within activist communities is the only way we can learn, grow, and become more empowered.
by Korie Tatum
Hi there! I’m trying to RSVP for the beer tasting on the 7th and am not seeing where/how to do that!
by Self Serve
Thank you for the comment. Try RSVPing again, I think we fixed the error.
Best
Self Serve Staff
by P.
Have you ever thought of hosting naked events and parties, mixers, for singles, couples swingers, straight and gay pornatopias. Have you thought of sponsoring orgies for different age categories? That kind of thing is sorely lacking in this city.
Unfortunately, we cannot hold parties like these due to legal restraints. There are kinky and swinger folks in New Mexico who host events like these. We recommend check out sls.com and fetlife.com and search for people and groups in Albuquerque.
Simply brilliant. Yes! Well thought out privacy policy. And “Strap-on 101” with Hunter is so well presented and so radical. Thank you.
by Johnny
Hello,
I was wondering if you sold the Penomet Penis Pump in-store, if not what penis pumps do you sell?
by Johnny
Hello,
What penis pumps do you sell in store?
by chyna beck
hi, can you get me back on your email list? I no longer receive emails. hope u have some classes soon. Hope you are doing well and I appreciate so much all you do and stand for…. blessings to you this holiday!
by chyna beck
Hi, can you tell me the best lube for post menopausal women-NOT on any hormone replacement…. send me an email? also … I dont see any classes listed? Hope you arent without?
We had two options that we loved, sadly one of them was discontinued. We are looking for a replacement pump right now. We have another one called the Precision Pump that you can check out.
Here it is:http://ow.ly/XkCud
Not at the moment. But when we do we’ll put it out on our email list and social media pages.
Thank you!
Hunter @ Self Serve
by Allyson Smith
I have never had such a fun and relaxed experience as in your store. The staff is incredible! My first thought was that everyone here must love their job because there is so much enthusiasm for education and demonstration. Loved it and will only be shopping here for toys from now on!
by Miss Matie
Thanks so much Allyson! We do love our jobs! I’m so happy you had such a positive experience at Self Serve. It is a great gift to help people explore their desires everyday. May we share this quote as a testimonial? It is challenging for us to explain what Self Serve provides for people and you’ve really summed up what we do best beautifully! -Matie@selfserve
Hi
This is Judith Anne Condon with Journeys to Tantric Bliss
I have several classes that could be held at Self Serve.
Pls take a look at SantaFe/Albuquerque Journeys to Tantric Bliss, my classes past and present and tell me which, if any interest you and would be suitable for Self Serve and I’ll get right back to you.
If you’re able to send an email to Hunter, our class coordinator, we can get an idea of what would be a good fit. Her email is: hunter (at) selfservetoys (dot) com.
Thank you!
Hunter
by Self Serve
Hi there,
We are in the process of finding and testing new penis pumps. Once we have more feedback from our reviewer we will be figuring out which pumps we will carry. In the meantime, this is one that we have carried for years and that many people enjoy: http://bit.ly/1QSyfDx
Is the starting into ethical non-monogamy going to offered again any time in the near future? I unfortunately have another commitment the night the April class is happening. Thanks
by Ray
My WONDERFUL girlfriend/now fiance! and I were in your shop recently and have been chatting about adding some rope work and mild bondage and seeing where it goes. I see that there is a class next Tuesday. I am ALL for it and she is too. Unfortunately, she is on the other side of the world for a couple of weeks. Is it worth coming to the rope class if I don’t have someone to “tie up?” I’ve been reviewing books, but there is SO much to learn in person.
My name is Emily, I heard about your company by a blogger who wrote a review about your service. Does your company offer services to influential Bloggers, Youtubers and Instagrammers to review or for sponsored posts?
Emily Lewis
(952) 955-6694
7204 W. 27th Street, Suite 220, Minneapolis MN 55426
by Self Serve
Hey Emily,
If you can go ahead and send us an email at info@selfservetoys.com we can chat more about what you’re offering up and to see if we can work together. Thank you!
by Self Serve
Hi there,
So sorry that we didn’t see this message until now. You are more than welcome to come to the class and practice with someone else. But this is one of our most popular classes, so we’ll definitely be offering it again. Thank you!
by Self Serve
We will have another non-monogamy class coming up in the next few months, so stay tuned 😀
by Ben
Hello
Do you have any classes on sub and Dom.If not will you have one coming up?
Hello!
We currently have classes around BDsM that are about flogging, sensation play and bondage. We do offer a class called Finding Your Inner Dominant, but we don’t have it scheduled yet.
Thanks for the question!
by Terri Gately
I am very interested in becoming a Product Tester for you and would be delighted to give feedback on the product. Nothing is more frustrating than buying a product that doesn’t perform as advertised. Frustrating, so I would love to contribute to saving someone from wasting their time and money by testing and reporting back my experience with the product.
by Patrick Henley
Would like an update for 2017 classes
by Melanie Helton
I am very interested in becoming a toy tester for your company. Please sign me up STAT!!
by Patrick Henley
How do you know when you have the right sex partner
We can be hired to do classes in Santa Fe, but we don’t currently offer in-person classes in Santa Fe. You can take our most popular class online at: https://vimeo.com/ondemand/masteringbj
Thank you!
theres always questions!
I would also like to share if anyone has any questions for the transgender support group here in Burque to please let us know! I would be happy to help you get in touch with them!
I have to say that many married people I know don't want to be married anymore, yet they stay married because they don't want to "have to go back out there". Where that is, I don't know, which means I'm probably there. I agree that if any consenting adults want to get married then they should be able to and do it with flair. Honestly, there are so many people already on their fourth or fifth marriage, that I'm sure a nation of LGBT couples getting married couldn't muck it up anymore than straight people already have. Seriously, who does more to attack the family values of America, the people who really want to be married or the people who just treat it as a temporary retreat that they can cast off at the smallest inconveniences and differences. I put my money on the gays.
Oh I hear you! As a sex shop owner I have experienced ALL the things that you have as far as funding, renting, merchant services and such. And Seriously, how does drugstore.com get away with using google carts when you can't? Fuckers.
I totally agree with education, trying new things and most of all honest communication with your partner. If you don't have that last, you don't have much of anything and your sex life will suffer no matter how adventurous you are.However, science does show that at least part of sexual arousal IS in the brain, for both sexes. I love to point friends towards Helen Fisher when this topic comes up. So I DO think drugs have the potential to help provided all other issues – relationship, whatever societal, body image – have been taken care of.It is obvious, by looking at the trials, that this particular drug is NOT going to be the cure-all for women. But I hope that if and when one is developed that will help, Self Serve supports it. Thanks! 🙂
Betsy- I agree totally! The brain is part of the equation. I hope research does help us learn more about female desire. Perhaps someday we'll know more about how to increase sexual desire through medical intervention, I just know we're not there yet.Flibanserin was rejected unanimously today by the FDA. They cited too many side effects and not enough positive results…http://abcnews.go.com/Business/wireStory?id=10955299Let's keep the conversation going and keep trying holistic methods to increase desire 🙂
What worries me the most about drugs like Flibanserin and it's 2004 counterpart Intrinsa is the whole phenomenon of the slippery slope. If one of these drugs/patches/sprays whatever was to pass FDA approval and be accessible to women through their respective doctors, my concern would be that many women would turn to this medical alternative to fixing their between-the-sheets-conundrum before considering other factors which would affect their libido. I know countless people who pop a Tylenol whenever their head hurts, but how productive is that kind of solution, really?I do think it's great that there is talk about female sexual desire, but I can't help but being a bit of a Negative Nancy. It's like that line from Field of Dreams: If you build it, they will come. if this drug is passed, women will buy it, and how will that affect our perception of what a 'normal' sexuality is?
Updated Advice! Carry on lube and liquids under 3.4 oz in a quart sized bag. Lubricant is considered a medical accessory, so you can declare larger amounts, too!
True Vulvalutionary messages! Wonderful work!
Sex is Fun Show did a podcast about labiapasty on June 28th, 2010. Sif# 232http://sexisfunradioshow.blogspot.com/
thanks all!
you ladies make me happy. thank you for getting this message out there!
Fight the good fight sisters! It sure does say something about how far we have to go, that your efforts keep getting censored…http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/women-who-stray/201007/cutting-your-vagina-spite-your-facebook
Here's an article in Psychology Today about this video and the facebook debacle: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/women-who-stray/201007/cutting-your-vagina-spite-your-facebookAlso, Violet Blue also had one of her communities deleted and CarnalNation wrote a piece on that: http://carnalnation.com/content/58197/957/facebook-censors-female-sexual-desire
This comment has been removed by the author.
I suggest before a woman heads off for surgery I suggest she perform what I call the "Vagina Salute” at least once. The Vagina Salute is a little act that I like to perform to remind myself of the Glory and undeniable Beauty of my Vagina. To perform the Vagina Salute you need a man, 2 pillows and I like to incorporate high heels. (The heels make me feel a bit sassy and help get your nerve up the first time around.) I like to take a shower, rub myself all over with my favorite lotions, and make myself my most beautiful. I then proceed to my bed and position myself in the center with 2 pillows under my hips and spread my legs as far as they will go. I then proceed to call in my husband and tell him I just want him to look at my Vagina…BUT NOT TOUCH. After a few minutes of begging I let him touch anything but my Vagina…After a few more minutes of intense begging and drooling I let him touch only the outside of my Vagina. When it is apparent that he can not endure another moment-only then do I allow him access to the "Inner Sanctum"! If any woman doubts the mesmerizing power and beauty of her Vagina…try the Vagina Salute. It embodies the word "empowerment" and is much less expensive (and WAY more fun) in every regard than surgery.
"You're Cooter is a Straiter Shooter!"Love it!
Thanks, Bad Mimi! Great idea. This surely could work with a woman, of course. Or by oneself, with a mirror. Good self pleasure should have anticipation and build up, too!:)
all right. i admit, my incredible experiences of sexual liberation and personal empowerment over the past week, and my inspiration to join this blog (because i'm so inspired with gratitude,) are because of this amazing device: the jimmy jane form II. just thinking about it makes me want to go play. what an incredible power, to have as many lightening bolt bliss explosion orgasms as i want? this miraculous, smart little sweetling has been keeping me up way too late… but, i'm very, very grateful.
Hey Molly,This was lovely to read, and a fantastic reminder. Missing my peeps in the ABQ. xo, Karma
I love y'all so much! I'll be reading this blog every day from now on, just like Cute Overload! 🙂
Matie, the second video made me laugh so hard I almost fell off of my chair. Dramatic recreation indeed. :-P–Alisia
Thanks for posting this video, women. I had no idea that these surgeries were getting so common. Kudos for getting the word out and encouraging people to not get pieces of their bodies cut off. The education–showing different kinds of vulvas–is invaluable. I, too, had no idea that my vulva was normal, I always thought it was too big. Now I know that that's just in comparison to the porn star look. Keep up the good work!
I totally appreciate the idea of letting go and living a fantasy. That can the perfect release for someone even if they are in a monogamous relationship. Use role playing to be whomever you want to be. Act out, talk dirty, and it will surely turn on your partner. Facing scary fantasies- of dominance or submission for example- can be scary in a positive way if enacted in a safe, comfy context.
Why did none of the vulvas shown have a natural amount of pubic hair?It seems ironic that a video encouraging women to love their vulvas the way they are, still promoted the idea that there is something natural about hairless or partially shaved adult vulva.
Hooray for negotiation & communication! Books like Wiseman's "SM 101," Dr. Sprinkle's "Spectacular Sex" & "Fantasex" by Rolf Milonas all have wonderful tools, games, guides and even charts to support and guide you in communicating desires w/ a partner and sometimes even just helping you admit them to yourself. I love the term "negotiation fetishist." Now that's a fetish that no one could object to!–Alisia
I love this Molly! Steve was also very impressed. Way to get action out of the media! –Alisia
Molly will be on KRQE Channel 13 4 o'clock news talking about Pornotopia being censored! Watch if you can and check our blog tonight for news updates! There's also an interview planned for KOAT 7
Can't you get the ACLU involved? This appears to be a clear infringement of the first amendment and freedom to assemble. Maybe you could recast pornotopia as a protest of the government regulations? If the city loses, that may break open the anti-first amendment zoning laws in their entirety.
Channel 7 did a much better job getting the story across. This is ridiculous.
When I was trying to organize on behalf of the sex workers, ACLU would not get involved on the grounds that we "brought our troubles on ourselves." I had contact with the national organizations, funding from some concerned local citizens, amused tolerance from the local cops and legal system — mostly because organizing working women is a lot like trying to scramble hard boiled eggs.
wow you cant hear us laughing in the background at all. that's aweomse! lol
Can't wait to see it! Matie is always a funny, inspirational and entertaining speaker…and I'm not just saying that because she is my baby sister!
Molly, that was beautifully written! Such a compelling and thoughtful response to a flippant comment.
so bummed i didnt make it to the bj class the other night 🙁 hoping you have more!
As per one definition of the word "Turgid": Bombastic male genitals?? I'm heterosexual, but I think that would be amusing to see!!
Bombastic? Fantastic! As long as it's covered in Albuquerque… except if shown in major motion pictures at large movie theaters…
wow!
Talk about selective enforcement! It makes you wonder what do they let their friends get away with.
They are forgetting that sexuality can't be squashed, the fearful dirtbags.
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Write the Mayor now, here,http://www.cabq.gov/mayor/how-can-we-help
i wrote a new letter and sent it to the Mayor.Let's all keep pu the pressure, until a festival happens!
i wrote a new letter and sent it to the Mayor.Let's all keep up the pressure, until a festival happens!
November 4, 2010Mayor Richard J. BerryP.O. Box 1293Albuquerque NM 87103Dear Mayor Berry:I read with dismay the news that “Pornotopia CENSORED” has been canceled. I trust the organizers, Molly and Matie of Self Serve, and I can’t dismiss their accusation. Did your Planning and Zoning officials use intimidation to stop the festival?Over the last year, Your Honor, I have been quite pleased with your administration. But I can’t stay happy with any Republican who doesn’t defend the freedom we love in the Wild West. As long as the kids are kept away, can’t we have some dancing girls on stage?As a former sex worker and current criminal defense attorney, I think I know prostitution and exploitation when I see them. Respectfully, your officials would have to be pretty naïve to confuse this event for a threat. Pornotopia shows don’t even pose the same danger as ads available in the back of newspapers all over town. I am aware that I haven’t heard your side of the story yet. Did you want to crush this festival, or has it just run afoul of a few officials acting on their own? Did those officials deliberately intimidate Molly and Matie because they knew they didn’t have a leg to stand on in court? Your State of the City Address today promised to save us money by keeping government small—small enough to stay out of the way of Albuquerque’s people when they are making the city great. Please, if you do nothing else, get back to me (and Molly and Matie) and make your position transparent. Even if you disagree with me, assure us that your administration will fight its battles in the open, not by scaring business owners out of exercising their rights. This may seem like a small issue for our big city, but it’s a chance to do the right thing. If you are fighting the public health battle against sexually transmitted infections, I have good news for you: Molly and Matie are on your side. If you are taking a feminist stance against the exploitation of women and children, I’ve got good news for you: Molly and Matie are on your side. And if you want property values here to look more like San Francisco than Branson, I have good news for you: Molly and Matie and their hundreds of friends are more likely to stay if you just take their side on this one.I wish you a safe trip this week and hope you will take a moment to personally encourage Molly and Matie to throw a safe and joyful Pornotopia show.Yours,Mary Griego
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what a disappointment.well, i feel way more "moral" now, how 'bout the rest of you? grrr…
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I saw the Genitorturers at the Sunshine back in the day. TWICE. This is selective enforcement if there ever was…..
I will be sending a letter. Also, have you ladies contacted the local ACLU? This sounds right up their ally. If nothing else, they might have advice about how to proceed in the future. I know they have been invaluable to some other organizations.
Can't believe I forgot this! They offered up nearly the same intimidation techniques for the first Alibi/Crushed Velvet Rope Fetish Ball at the Launchpad.We didn't say a word and we let them show up. Rumors flew about the plain-clothes cops in the crowd. We knew we were following all the rules to the letter.No tickets were issued. Doesn't mean it wouldn't happen this time; I've been gone for so long I don't know what the climate is there anymore. I also had an attorney on retainer for all the performers and a valid business license to operate the troupe, which helped.Suffice to say I hope you all fight the good fight on this one – ABQ needs to be dragged, kicking and screaming, into the 21st century, just about every 10 years. Sorry that you're due now, just before such a sex-positive, free-speech event as the one you had planned.
*sigh* This is all such a load. You know? It's not only a disservice to the community as a whole, but it's detrimental to individuals. The message they're sending me is that by being sex-positive and expressing that openly (with other grown ups who are like-minded) I'm actually a dirty freak, not a productive member of society. I'll tell you what Abq, I pay my taxes. I work hard. I want to play hard, but I want to do it my own way. Deal with it, and stop putting roadblocks in my way. Grr. This makes me sick and angry :o{
Thanks for all the comments, and Mary- your letter is fabulous.We are talking to the Mayor's office tomorrow, and hope to make progress on figuring out how to finally host events, legally, without fear of repercussions. I am still hopeful!I figure we shall go straight to the Mayor and try to learn what's going on.
This breaks my heart. Hookers all over Central Ave, strip clubs, sexist adverts, HIV AIDS, STDs, pregger teens….. healthy sexuality would cure ALL of this sickness. And it would empower people in such subversive ways, it would destroy the capitalist system, conventional religion and the military industrial complex! Bless you for your conviction and heart. Albuquerque hasn't heard the last of us yet.
I sent my letter. Freedom of Speech is very important to me.
Albuquerque bureaucracy is pathetic. Puritanical assholes.
mayorberry@cabq.gov. Email the letter!!
what in the world has got "the powers that be" in Albuquerque so riled up and scared?
I've emailed a version of the above letter. Scandalous!
some people are not happy until someone else is sad.
I've sent my letter
We should get as many people as possible to dress risque or wear Pornatopia shirts tomorrow!
@Meganfein – it's all that damn tea the tea party is making the people drink.it's like that special kool aid… you know, the kind the special clubs give you. with the matching sneakers.
I've been to two of the Burlesque/Circus show in the past and loved them! I was very much looking forward to tonights performance only to check my e-mail and find it's been cancelled for no good reason! Last night I happened to be at Kosmos and when I walked in they were having "pants down" musical chairs with males and females participating – all participants had panties or boxers on and it was hysterical. Is the city going to try to stop this kind of harmless fun everywhere or just when it involves anything with the name "Pornotopia"??? You bet I'll be sending Dick Berry a letter!
I also have a small business and I have also experienced similar abuse of power. Too much focus seems to be placed on the censorship aspect . The greater problem is simply that Government is too big and far too intrusive. If the City had less power their ability to abuse power would also be lessened. The problem is big government and its abuse of power. It is ironic that at the same time so many Americans think we are fighting for freedom in foreign lands while our freedoms here at home are being lost.
The latest adult sex toys, movies, DVDs available at The Erotic Toy Store.
How do "Adult entertainment" video/magazine stores do it? Its been a good number of years since i turned 18 and shopped much at any of those, but popular legend says they have movie viewing booths and theaters. Admittedly their porn is not the same as pornatopia content, But what laws do they use to stay open?
YAY! We're on the map as the biggest thumb sucker city in the USA! I'm so PROUD!
did you record this with that free Staples cam?Love it! More please!!
More ideas from our friend at NMAS: 1. Donate $ if you can. AIDS organizations are really hurting. 2. Get tested, and/or get a friend to get tested. Support your friend and get tested with them! NMAS is testing from 12-5pm today. 3. Talk to your friends and family about HIV/AIDS to fight stigma. 4. Events around New Mexico:Albuquerque:Free, anonymous, oral swab HIV testing 12-5pm and come see a local piece of the AIDS Quilt at NMAS today, Call 938-7100 for more info.Information, education, awareness, and a candle light remembrance at First Nations Community Healthsource, For more info call Mattee Jim, 505.262.6554 Las Cruces: World AIDS Day will be observed in Las Cruces on December 1, 2010 at First Christian Church – DOC, 1809 El Paseo Road beginning at 7:00 pm and everyone is welcome to attend. Donations of canned food will be gladly accepted for the food pantry for clients, For more info Janet Lindsey, FYI642-6596Santa Fe: THE TRANSFORMING POWER OF STORY: WORLD AIDS DAY WORSHIP SERVICE, WEDNESDAY DECEMBER 1ST, 2010 6:00PM FIRST PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH SANTA FE (208 Grant Avenue, Santa Fe). This ecumenical World AIDS Worship Service is a unique opportunity for faith and community leaders to gather together and experience the transforming power of story as told by those infected and affected by HIV/AIDS. Rev. Andrew Black, AIDS advocate and Sen. Bingaman’s Health Care Field Representative, will deliver the sermon entitled “Seeing the Face of God in those with HIV/AIDS.” All our welcome.Gallup: Navajo AIDS Network-Gallup, NM office is offering FREE HIV Testing. For more info call 505 863 9929.
i just sent the letter to mayor berry! good luck!
Thanks so much, Sera for posting this. Here is the link to the Dateline story: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/40613128#40613128
JEALOUS!!!
I'm so thrilled you went to AVN! I went years ago and had such a blast. It's one of the best shows in the country. YAY for Self Serve!
Great suggestions. Might I suggest for stripping music Rebecca Romijn Stamos' cover of Prince's 'Darling Nikki'. HOT!!! It's on an album called 'An Electro Goth Tribute To Prince'. Highly recommended.
Looks like I'm there. Is there a cost?
weird. Anyone use these yet? hmmm…
Loved this! I look forward to more entries!
I love the video! So informative with great humor. I was actually laughing out loud at the end. Thanks!
and where are you on Facebook?? I couldn't find your page. I did "like" your page awhile ago and now I can't find it.
Thank you. I was at a loss to explain how PDA was different than dragging a submissive into a coffee shop on a leash. I'm so glad you post this. And that I read it. 🙂
Awesome entry!
Thank you for being our voice and our friend.
Thank you both so much ,and to Sky it was an honor to interview you! thanks for being a part of this project!
Have you heard anything new since this meeting last year?
(wipes a tear), you are so loved sweetie. You are; an in your face fighter, devoutly loyal to women of size and an all around lovely lady wrapped in wonderfully colorful layers. You go girl! And hats off to Keli too, great therapy choice!
VERY well said!!!!!
This is an FDA-approved device with attendant liability and regulatory expense. I have some experience with an older version of this device and it worked moderately well and was built like a tank. – Spinal Guy
Once again! You always amaze me with your insights and opinions! I feel truly honored to have the opportunity to read your blogs and hear your thoughts! You always make valid points and bring out thoughts that others may overlook or take for granted! This is such an important topic, and is one that EVERYONE should know and understand on so mant levels! Thank you again for being so awesome and allow your voice to be heard!!!!
Thank you for that insightful exploration of the complexities of the intersections of fat-positive, anti-racist, body-acceptance spaces/communities. It's important to articulate how stereotypes and generalizations affect people negatively. Being aware of those affects is the first step in addressing the deeper (and infinitely more complex) issues of racism, sex-negativity, homophobia.I thought the term "____ is the new black" was a term referring to black as a color in fashion that goes with anything–the hip universal. Now, I can see how it was used in reference to civil rights struggle of African Americans. Tactics and strategies of the black power movement have been used by other movements (gay rights, women, etc.), but I find it problematic to compare oppression/struggle/politics of each movement to each other as apples to apples. Racism, ageism, sexism, homophobia, classism, etc are so integrated and overlapping that they cannot be seen as separate. They are, in fact, in extricable reinforcing discrepancies in power and privilege.
Hi Alexantor! Thank you for your comments! While I agree that the various aspects of oppression such as gay rights, homophobia, women's rights' etc. all have to deal with power and privilege, it is a great disservice to people of color and of working class status to lump us all together under "one Happy umbrella". One of the problems with first wave feminism movement was the fact that the grievances of women who were working class, below the poverty line, of color and differently abled were ignored in favor of upper class women's issues with the reasoning that "everything overlaps". The same issue still affects the glbtqi community where racism and classism are so rampant that a majority of men of color now refer to themselves as "same gender loving" in protest of the fact that their needs are ignored and/or treated with a patronizing attitude. For most of us who are poor,fat, of color, and queer, having someone tell us that all of the problems we're facing are all the same is tantamount to someone telling us to "stay in our place" and not talk about our problems. It takes away our voice. Talking about the realities and complexities of racism and oppresion within activist communities is the only way we can learn, grow, and become more empowered.
Hi there! I’m trying to RSVP for the beer tasting on the 7th and am not seeing where/how to do that!
Thank you for the comment. Try RSVPing again, I think we fixed the error.
Best
Self Serve Staff
Have you ever thought of hosting naked events and parties, mixers, for singles, couples swingers, straight and gay pornatopias. Have you thought of sponsoring orgies for different age categories? That kind of thing is sorely lacking in this city.
Hi there,
Unfortunately, we cannot hold parties like these due to legal restraints. There are kinky and swinger folks in New Mexico who host events like these. We recommend check out sls.com and fetlife.com and search for people and groups in Albuquerque.
Thank you for reaching out!
Hunter
Do you sell gift cards or certificates?
Hello,
Yes you can purchase a gift card online from this link, http://selfservetoys.com/http%3A-selfservetoyscom-massage-and-play-gift-cards-gift-card/dp/2576
Or you can purchase one in the store or over the phone.
Thank you!
Hunter
Simply brilliant. Yes! Well thought out privacy policy. And “Strap-on 101” with Hunter is so well presented and so radical. Thank you.
Hello,
I was wondering if you sold the Penomet Penis Pump in-store, if not what penis pumps do you sell?
Hello,
What penis pumps do you sell in store?
hi, can you get me back on your email list? I no longer receive emails. hope u have some classes soon. Hope you are doing well and I appreciate so much all you do and stand for…. blessings to you this holiday!
Hi, can you tell me the best lube for post menopausal women-NOT on any hormone replacement…. send me an email? also … I dont see any classes listed? Hope you arent without?
You hiring?
Hi there!
We had two options that we loved, sadly one of them was discontinued. We are looking for a replacement pump right now. We have another one called the Precision Pump that you can check out.
Here it is:http://ow.ly/XkCud
Thank you!
Hunter @ Self Serve
Can you send an email with your request to info(at)selfservetoys(dot)com
Thank you!
Hunter @ Self Serve
Hi there,
Can you send an email to info(at)selfservetoys(dot)com and we can help you out.
Thank you!
Hunter @ Self Serve
Not at the moment. But when we do we’ll put it out on our email list and social media pages.
Thank you!
Hunter @ Self Serve
I have never had such a fun and relaxed experience as in your store. The staff is incredible! My first thought was that everyone here must love their job because there is so much enthusiasm for education and demonstration. Loved it and will only be shopping here for toys from now on!
Thanks so much Allyson! We do love our jobs! I’m so happy you had such a positive experience at Self Serve. It is a great gift to help people explore their desires everyday. May we share this quote as a testimonial? It is challenging for us to explain what Self Serve provides for people and you’ve really summed up what we do best beautifully! -Matie@selfserve
Hi
This is Judith Anne Condon with Journeys to Tantric Bliss
I have several classes that could be held at Self Serve.
Pls take a look at SantaFe/Albuquerque Journeys to Tantric Bliss, my classes past and present and tell me which, if any interest you and would be suitable for Self Serve and I’ll get right back to you.
Heres’ the URL
http://www.meetup.com/SantaFe-Albuquerque-Journeys-to-Tantric-Bliss/
Hi there!
If you’re able to send an email to Hunter, our class coordinator, we can get an idea of what would be a good fit. Her email is: hunter (at) selfservetoys (dot) com.
Thank you!
Hunter
Hi there,
We are in the process of finding and testing new penis pumps. Once we have more feedback from our reviewer we will be figuring out which pumps we will carry. In the meantime, this is one that we have carried for years and that many people enjoy: http://bit.ly/1QSyfDx
Thank you!
Is the starting into ethical non-monogamy going to offered again any time in the near future? I unfortunately have another commitment the night the April class is happening. Thanks
My WONDERFUL girlfriend/now fiance! and I were in your shop recently and have been chatting about adding some rope work and mild bondage and seeing where it goes. I see that there is a class next Tuesday. I am ALL for it and she is too. Unfortunately, she is on the other side of the world for a couple of weeks. Is it worth coming to the rope class if I don’t have someone to “tie up?” I’ve been reviewing books, but there is SO much to learn in person.
Hello,
My name is Emily, I heard about your company by a blogger who wrote a review about your service. Does your company offer services to influential Bloggers, Youtubers and Instagrammers to review or for sponsored posts?
Emily Lewis
(952) 955-6694
7204 W. 27th Street, Suite 220, Minneapolis MN 55426
Hey Emily,
If you can go ahead and send us an email at info@selfservetoys.com we can chat more about what you’re offering up and to see if we can work together. Thank you!
Hi there,
So sorry that we didn’t see this message until now. You are more than welcome to come to the class and practice with someone else. But this is one of our most popular classes, so we’ll definitely be offering it again. Thank you!
We will have another non-monogamy class coming up in the next few months, so stay tuned 😀
Hello
Do you have any classes on sub and Dom.If not will you have one coming up?
Hello!
We currently have classes around BDsM that are about flogging, sensation play and bondage. We do offer a class called Finding Your Inner Dominant, but we don’t have it scheduled yet.
Thanks for the question!
I am very interested in becoming a Product Tester for you and would be delighted to give feedback on the product. Nothing is more frustrating than buying a product that doesn’t perform as advertised. Frustrating, so I would love to contribute to saving someone from wasting their time and money by testing and reporting back my experience with the product.
Would like an update for 2017 classes
I am very interested in becoming a toy tester for your company. Please sign me up STAT!!
How do you know when you have the right sex partner
Have you updated your schedule of classes yet
Do u do/have any classes & events in Santa Fe?
We can be hired to do classes in Santa Fe, but we don’t currently offer in-person classes in Santa Fe. You can take our most popular class online at: https://vimeo.com/ondemand/masteringbj
Thank you!
All of our classes are updated and posted on our new website here: http://www.selfservetoys.com/classes/classes-at-self-serve/
That’s a more complicated question than can be answered in a comment. Come into the shop and talk to one of our educators, or check out our books: http://www.selfservetoys.com/books-games/sex-books-erotica/
We are currently not accepting new applications for toy testers. But thank you for your interest!
We are currently not accepting new applications for toy testers. But thank you for your interest!