Anal Sex 101
Our society is pretty anal-retentive, and that just needs to change.
How many times a day do you squeeze and release your sphincter muscles—as exercise, not just taking care of business? When’s the last time you had a rosebud massage?
There are plenty of enjoyable ways to explore anal sex play. Hands, lubricants, massage oils and toys can all be great ASSets. Follow our top anal sex tips and check out ideas for the best anal sex toys.
- Don’t rush anal sex ever. Wait until your ass is ready, even if you’re really, really excited!
- Communication is key! Verbal and non-verbal communication is truly important, not just so it feels good, but so that no one gets physically hurt and stays safe. Communicating your needs = safe sex!
- Lubrication is something you must provide. Unlike during vaginal sex, your ass does not provide comfy lubrication. And you certainly need lubrication even more during anal play. The tissue around and in the anus is thin and sensitive. That means if you feel good, happy sensations they are wonderful, but if you feel sensitive to pain it is easy to get hurt. Lubrication prevents tiny cuts and tears from happening, which feels better and reduces the chance for sexually transmitted infections.
- Relaxation is so important. If your anus is tightly, tensely closed for business, nothing and no one is getting in there. We often hold lots of stress right there in our asses. Take a deep breath and relax (then repeat). Deep breathing, taking it slow and relaxing your sphincter muscles will do wonders for your sex life and your anxiety!
- Massage is a great way to start. Just a lovely, little rosebud massage on the anus will feel fantabulous for most people. Use a condom-safe lubricant or your mouth! Dental Dams are recommended for safer sex! Try massaging his perineum, too. Pressure up behind the balls will stimulate his prostate gland (P spot) internally.
- Anal sex does not have to involve a penis going inside an ass. Remember it’s way more comfortable and easy for beginners to enjoy fingers, anal sex toys, massage orbutt plugs first. Make sure when you talk about anal sex, all parties involved know whether you plan to enjoy toys, a penis, a finger or whatever.
- For many people, insertion is a BIG deal. Wait until the ass invites you in! Do not push into the anus, but allow your partner to fall onto your finger, cock or toy. Go slow and the reward is great!
- Safer sex is more fun and guilt-free for everyone! Prevent spreading bacteria withgloves or finger cots. Go down with less risk of Hepatitis with dental dams. Use condoms on guy parts and dildos before inserting anywhere else. And remember, lubricant helps your latex supplies feel super silky and smooth. Check out our links for more safe sex resources.
- Good anal sex positions include: doggy style, any position when receptive partner is on his or her back = more relaxed muscles.
- Great toys include: the Mistress Vibe Kit (for a slim and long dildo that’s strap-on friendly) and the Pro Touch (for granulated bumps and a big Prostate-stimulating curve).
- Make sure any anal sex toy you use has a flared base! If you stick little, mini sex toys into someone’s ass you risk not getting it back! We hear stories all the time (unfortunately) about people going to the emergency room for a sex toy retrieval. Good anal sex toys have something to hold onto or a flared base that won’t get sucked into a happy tush.
- Avoid numbing creams and harmful desensitizing gels. When you cut off your body’s ability to tell you something is wrong, you put yourself at risk for harm or injury. Plus you miss out on all the good sensations!