Author of “The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure” teaches at Self Serve

Prostate stimulation is one of the most common topics we hear about at Self Serve. In response to the rising interest in prostate stimulation and male anal play, co-author of The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure Aislinn Emirzian is touring the U.S. and stopping in at Self Serve to teach a three-part workshop series.

She’s teaching a class on May 12th that serves as an introduction to the prostate, Intro to Anal Play. On Tuesday May 14th she’ll teach her Pspot Massage workshop and on Thursday May 16th she wraps up with Pegging 101, which is a term for strapon sex between a woman and a male partner.

It’s more common that men of all orientations and backgrounds are interested in prostate play. But they also have questions and concerns about how to do it and what it means about their sexual orientation. Some people still buy into the myth that a man who enjoys or wants anal stimulation must be gay, but that just isn’t true. Check out the video interview below with Aislinn by Chris at Pleasure Mechanics on why prostate pleasure doesn’t have ANYTHING to do with your orientation.

Another common question we get is about pain during anal sex. People think that anal penetration has to hurt, or at least it has to hurt the first time. Sex should never hurt, and if it does, it might mean your body needs more time to relax, maybe you need more lube or perhaps a smaller toy. Anal penetration in particular may require a little more time to warm up.  You have to relax the sphincter muscles and apply adequate lubrication, because the anus doesn’t self lubricate like a mouth or vagina.

Prostate stimulation might also be beneficial for overall prostate health.  According to The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure, massaging any part of the body helps increase circulation of blood and lymph fluids, which is important in healthy cell and tissue function. Ultrasound studies have shown that blood flow to the prostate increases significantly after ejaculation and stays high for up to 24 hours afterward (“Prostate Vascular Flow:The Effect of Ejaculation as revealed on Transrectal Power Doppler Sonography,” American Journal of Roentgenology). Some researchers have theorized that because prostate massage helps clear the gland of irritants that may be involved in cancer development, prostate massage might help decrease the likelihood of developing prostate cancer. The relationship between prostate massage and prostate cancer is still unknown because more research is needed.

As more men discover the intense pleasure their prostate can bring, hopefully the word will spread and male anal stimulation will be normalized in our culture. Anal sex in general has become more culturally acceptable in recent years. It’s not uncommon that people openly admit to at least trying anal sex, and lots of people are doing it regularly.

Our Top 5 Reasons to Try Prostate Stimulation:

  • The health benefits. Prostate massage can potentially reduce your risk of developing prostate cancer
  • Try something new. Finding and trying new methods of receiving pleasure is a great way to ‘spice things up’
  • Different experience of orgasm. Men who try prostate stimulation say the orgasms they get from their prostate are frequently more intense and explosive than orgasms from just penis stimulation. From the book: “The few moments before ejaculation are intense, and prostate play increases the length of time that occurs.”
  • Be a better partner. Men who have never been penetrated don’t know the sensation and how it makes your body feel. Being a receptive partner, as women often are, means letting yourself be vulnerable and entrusting your partner to take care with your body. As Lawrence Lanoff wrote on “It’s difficult to be a true sexual black belt without empathy for your partner. Men who never receive will continue to lack basic understanding about the effects that foreplay, clear communication and non-judgmentalness has on relaxing into and receiving full pleasure from our sexual experiences. However, when he has that experience in his body, then he can more easily empathize.”
  • Try a new sexual dynamic. If you are in a heterosexual relationship, changing the dynamic of who gives and who receives penetration can be a very exciting and thrilling experience for both partners. One male partner told the authors of the book, “It makes me feel like my partner is interested in giving me pleasure, and that makes me feel desired and sexy.”

Click here to sign up for the Prostate Pleasure workshop series.